Stop Fighting Yourself: Why Ministry Can Feel Exhausting

by Brian Rutherford

Back in October 2024, I was walking my 50-pound dog when she spotted a squirrel I didn't see. She bolted. My arm jerked. My shoulder took the hit.

I thought it was nothing. Then I woke up the next day in excruciating pain. I grabbed advil and gritted it out for a few days.

My wife finally said, "You need to do something about this."

I went to physical therapy. The therapist took one look and said: "Here's what happened. Your dog yanked your shoulder out of alignment. Now the muscles in the front and the back are fighting against each other. They're exhausted. That's why you're in so much pain."

This is exactly what happens in churches.

When a church gets out of alignment, every part of it starts fighting against every other part. Your teaching moves people in one direction. Your small groups are focused on something else. Your kids' ministry has a different aim. Your events stand alone. Everything is fighting everyone else.

People today are drowning in information. Every day brings it from every direction: social media, news, podcasts, work, family. The compounding problem is this: people don't need more information. What they need is a clear direction. A sense that the church knows what God is calling it toward, and everything—the teaching, the programs, the culture, the budget—is pointing that way.

Doug Parks says it best: "If everything we're doing (our programs, our events, our ministry structure) is pulling in different directions, we're literally fighting against our own pulpit."

No wonder people are exhausted. No wonder the message doesn't stick.

Here's what Erin Johnston's church does at Canyon Ridge.

They run a six-month discernment process where they listen to God about what He's inviting them to focus on. Not a random new program. Not what's trendy. What is He saying?

One season, they sensed God inviting them to knit the relational fabric of their church. They were too disconnected.

So the teaching went there. But then they brought all their ministry leaders together and asked: "How does your ministry contribute to this?" Small groups. Kids' ministry. Volunteer roles. Events. Everything.

Not the same answer. But the same direction.

Their people felt it. The rope was pulling the same way.

Now, back to my shoulder.

The path back to alignment was painful. My therapist had to stretch those fighting muscles. Break the pattern. It hurt in the short term.

But the long-term benefit was incredible.

Your church might experience some short-term discomfort too. Realigning everything takes intentionality. You'll have to make hard choices about what stays and what goes. You'll need to have conversations about whether your current programs actually serve your mission.

But once you get there? Once your teaching, your programs, your events, your leadership culture are all pointing the same direction?

That's when transformation actually sticks.

Start with these questions: Is everything we're doing actually pointing toward what we believe God is calling us to? Where are we pulling in different directions? What would have to change for our teaching, our programs, and our culture to align?

The path back won't be painless. Realigning everything takes hard choices. You'll have to let some things go. You'll have conversations you've been avoiding.

But like my shoulder, once you endure the short-term pain, the long-term benefit is incredible.

It's worth it.